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CELLPHONE JUNKIE POEM
I must confess, I have a chronic cellphone addiction.
It’s a form of psychological masturbation.
It’s by far my major method of gratification.
While those around see it as a selfish irritation.
Some see a bizarre and psychotic deviation.
When I can’t use my phone, I feel deep frustration.
It leads to agony, despair and exasperation.
Yet, when I can use my phone, there’s dissatisfaction.
It has an interesting effect on my rationalization.
Big brother uses them for spying and identification.
They’re for underhanded snooping and observation.
They allow the government to get your information.
They are tools of propaganda and manipulation,
espionage, intrusion and mass exploitation.
They spread leftist hatred and misinformation.
They are corrupting and perverting civilization.
Cellphones use your time in devoted contemplation.
They stop you from using your imagination.
Lack of use causes mental deterioration,
recollective and cognitive degeneration.
They’re detrimental to physical competition.
They cause the opposite effect of masculinization.
If I really want good health – and true satisfaction;
I’ll rid myself of all cellphones - and get into action.
I must find a form of psychological detoxification.
My health and circulation need regeneration.
But, right now, I feel an urge for urination…
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